The past two months have been a whirlwind of confusion, hurt, trauma, pain, anger, sadness, stress and trying to keep it together. All of these emotions happening while I also have to be a mother and do our daily routine.
I have really been focusing on healing me. I only have power to control me.
When I went in to talk to my Bishop (spiritual leader at my church), the first time, he really wanted to focus on healing me.
He asked: What makes you happy?
In that office I came up with two things. 1.) Spending time with my girls 2.) Going to the Temple
When I got home I decided to start a healing journal.
This journal includes questions, scriptures, feelings, list of resources, goals, and quotes among other things.
I have one page (so far) devoted to a list of what makes me happy.
I add to it when I think or do something that makes me happy.
Exercising, driving around with the windows down, reorganizing, reading, photography, music, and exploring new places have all been added.
I know I have a long ways to go as far as healing, but I have surrounded myself with ways to help.
1. I contacted the Togetherness Project and joined the Hope and Healing forum. I have the support of other wives that have been through this and/or are going through this. I can ask questions, express frustrations or accomplishments, and find new information without being judged or letting the whole world know I'm going through this.
2. I have found many blogs that are written by amazing, inspired women.
3. I reach out to a friend daily. Her and her husband are always there to listen to me vent, give sound advice, and encourage me to make the best decisions for my happiness.
4. I go to the temple every other week. I made it a goal at the beginning and it has brought so much peace. I know that I will get to spend at least two hours learning more about the Gospel and feeling the love of my Heavenly Father and Savior, all while letting go of the stresses for a small moment.
5. Started to put my house in order. I can be an extremely organized person, but my house and mind have not been that for a few years now. I have felt prompted to get my house in order. This means reorganizing closets, getting rid of things we don't need, making more meaningful routines, and clearing out the clutter in all areas (finances, paperwork, files, storage, etc.).
6. Education. I have been reading books, articles, and blogs from well known sex-addiction therapists. This has empowered me in my healing and knowledge of this addiction. It has helped me understand what I am going through, as well as my husband. My understanding of what do next has grown and has enabled me to go forward without regrets to make the best decisions possible.
What else do I plan to do?
-Seek out professional help
-Yoga
-Create boundaries
-Support group
-Help others
-Self-care
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